Love & Wanderlust by Nicolette Dane

Author:Nicolette Dane [Dane, Nicolette]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-09-05T23:00:00+00:00

"Yeah, you're right," said Julia, standing on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant in downtown Asheville. It was a humid late summer afternoon, the sky clear and the sun bright. Julia held her phone to her ear, and she spoke in a slightly hushed tone in case someone heard her talking.

"You're not putting down roots," said Dr. Gladish, Julia's therapist. "And sure, the freedom can be nice, but it can sometimes feel like we're not moving forward in our lives when we don't make a firm choice. Do you feel like that?"

"Like I'm not moving forward?" Julia repeated. "Yeah, I guess I do feel like that sometimes."

"When you picture what putting down roots might mean for you, how does it look?"

"I don't know," admitted Julia.

"Does it mean being close to your family?" asked Dr. Gladish.

"God no," said Julia. "They just… I don't know about them. They live way out in the desert in this self-sustaining permaculture commune thing. It sounds cool, but it just feels a little stagnant to me."

"Does it mean starting your own family somewhere?" Dr. Gladish pressed.

"I'm a lesbian, Doctor," said Julia. "I really don't think that I'm going to be starting a family."

"Lesbians can still have children, Julia," said Dr. Gladish. "Science has helped you out with that."

"Yeah, I know," Julia said, almost whining. "I guess I don't care about that either."

"So you just want to travel indefinitely?" said Dr. Gladish. "You want to be on the road for the rest of your life?"

"I don't know," Julia said. "I don't know what I want."

"I think you need to begin asking yourself the hard questions," Dr. Gladish surmised. "If you don't know what you want, you'll never figure out the pathway to get there. You'll just tread water."

"Dr. Gladish," said Julia, considering how the next words would come out. "We have doctor-patient confidentiality, right?"

"Sure, we do," said Dr. Gladish.

"If I tell you about something illegal I did," Julia went on. "Would you have to report it?"

"It depends on how illegal it is," said Dr. Gladish. "Doctor-patient confidentiality isn't like you see on TV. If you smoked some marijuana illegally, I'm not going to say anything about that. But if you did something far more illegal, well, I have to use my best judgment."

"Okay," said Julia, slowly nodding. Her eyes glazed over as she watched a group of people walk by her.

"Do you want to tell me?"

"Yeah," said Julia. "I really do."

"I'm all ears, Julia," said Dr. Gladish with a kind and understanding tone in her voice.

"Well," Julia began. "Robin — my girlfriend — and I were parked in a Walmart parking lot in Tennessee. We were sleeping in my van, when sometime really late, like two or three in the morning, someone tried to break in. They got in, it was some guy we think we saw inside the Walmart, and he was obviously breaking in to harm us. So I shot him." When she said this, she hushed her voice even more than she already had been.

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